its just a sad song
WITH NOTHING TO SAY
_____________________________________

Tanner skipped dinner that night. His brother had screamed at him and dumped everything on him after lunch, so he had no appetite. He was sitting at the lake, dressed in a big black coat wearing black jeans, black tank top, and his hair was a mess. He was staring up at the clear sky, the moon, almost full, hovering, and the sun near setting. He was giving out shuttering breaths, the tear trails down his cheeks were close to freezing instantly. He shuttered and then put his head onto his knees, and sobbed into his pants. It was so strange. He was wounded deeply by his brother, so the little heart he had left in his chest was withering. He moved his legs from his chest then rolled to his side in the fetal position. He was having a mental break down. There was some ruckus, he looked at the water, some creatures were staring at him. He didn’t like being watched when he was a wreck so he quickly got to his feet and started for the woods.

He was still crying, but had dulled himself down to sniffling now. His breathing was still shuttering, he couldn’t quite grasp sanity or calmness again. It was like an impossible task. He tried to grasp himself properly, He managed to get maybe a little more than three quarters of the way through when he broke down in tears again. He found himself unable to move on, he couldn’t exactly see the girl behind the large tree, he sat on the other side of it and leaned his head back. His eyes were strangely glittering with the tears that filled them. He pulled his knees up to his chest, then grabbed his death notebook from his pocket and held it tightly to him. He was tired of crying, tired of his brother. He let out a shuttering breath and slowly calmed down, at least enough to stop his tears.

He stared up at the branches; his hand tightly grasped his notebook. He looked back down at his notebook and opened it, re-reading Gisella’s journal entries, obsessed by how she slowly slipped from his grasp. He looked down, feeling ashamed when he read his confession note. It was the only thing linking him to her murder. It was the last clue, and no one could get it. He had it with him at all times, and no one, absolutely NO ONE could touch it without getting their hands broken. He shuttered again from his emotional messy fit. His heart withered inside of him, the hole that Gisella had started was simply growing. He was not completely emotionless, he didn’t have a complete hard shell yet. There were cracks in the shell, faint as could be, but they were there.

"Emotions... make my chest hurt."

its just a sad song
WITH NOTHING TO SAY
_____________________________________

Tanner sniffled loudly. His breath shuttered again. How could his brother pull him apart so quickly? He felt a crack in his defenses growing more defined. But since he was alone, every piece of his wall was stuffed away deep inside his mind so he could release all of his emotions. Well, that was up until he heard a book close. His walls quickly flew up around him, surrounding him once more, his emotions were packed away into a tight case. He grabbed his wand, spun into a standing motion and withdrew his wand, prepared to attack whatever or whoever was around. His heart started to pound, and to be honest, his face was getting red with anger. He couldn’t see anyone, but he had a sneaking suspicion, so he went around the tree.

And there she was. He immediately tipped his wand, pointed it straight at her, his eyes flared with anger. No one was supposed to see him weak. Now the cold emotionless appearance was back on him. He’d make sure this girl never told a soul about what she had heard and probably seen. If it wasn’t infuriating enough that his brother blamed him for their father’s suicide, now someone else had to see him weak. The crack in his walls seemed to become faint again. It was a distant memory. “Who the fucking hell are you? And what’re you doing out here?” He growled demandingly. He would get answers if it was the last thing he did.

“Whatever you saw and heard, you tell a single soul about it and I’ll rip your voice box out of your throat.” He also added, in a very, very menacing manner, hopefully he could intimidate her enough to keep her mouth shut to the world about what she saw. He wasn’t keen on Annabelle laughing at him because he had a small weak moment, the same with that ass hole Jonas. Actually the entire school would probably point and laugh at his weak moments, because he never went only half way in weakness, it was either completely weak, or a complete cold shell. It was kind of sad to think that Tanner didn’t have a middle, he just had two extremes, and it was not something he could help either.

“And if you tell me to say please, you are talking to the wrong person. Please is not exactly a word I use… ever” He was trying to be menacing, once again. Tanner didn’t have to do much physically to be menacing, his appearance pretty much was… or at least so he thought, maybe he angry fire in his eyes or the twisted growl on his face could scare the girl into agreeing… hopefully.